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Numéro 136 : Elections : comment s'y retrouver ?

Elections : comment s'y retrouver ?

Politique

23 décembre 2006

Numéro 136

Ou plutôt, pourquoi s'y retrouver ? Mais ce ne sera pas le sujet abordé dans cet article. [:D]

Pour Noël, notre Premier Ministre a été contraint décidé, à son grand désarroi dans sa grande bonté, de nous faire cadeau d'élections. Et franchement, quel(s) cadeau(x), mes amis !

Cette fois-ci, donc, ce ne sont pas moins de 12 candidats aux ambitions variés et à l'expérience discutable qui se sont présentés à cette échéance, tous courants confondus.

Mais même si certaines candidatures se prêtent plus à une plaisanterie qu'à autre chose, on trouve tout de même dans le lot un candidat qui vient réhausser un peu le niveau (remarquez, c'était pas bien difficile). Il s'agit évidemment du grand beau et fort Kyvi, candidat officiel Red[*r]Starlinien unique proposé imposé par notre bienveillant secrétaire du parti Kra, soucieux de nous éviter le difficile effort - surtout en cette période de fête - de choisir rigoureusement le prochain petit père de la République.

Aussi, kramarade lecteur, toi qui est non-Vodkaïste, afin de pouvoir te féliciter de ton respect sans faille de la Constitution dans cette épreuve perturbante, et ainsi de t'éviter quelque malentendu avec ton bourreau de police de quartier, le Red[*r]Star Weekly a mené l'enquête afin de mieux déterminer la quantité de déviants qui t'entourent.

Le papier étant cher et les candidatures nombreuses, ne seront listés ici que les 5 candidats actuellement en tête de ces élections :

[*r]Jc[*r]KranDammovsKy[*r] 95 voix (9 %)
Super Tagueur 179 voix (16.9 %)
OsKar Applepopovski 234 voix (22.1 %)
Kyvi [*r] 277 voix (26.2 %)
[*b]Bram's[*b]Steven's[*b]Erwan. 281 voix (26.3 %)


Plusieurs choses intéressantes sont à relever ici. D'abord, la piètre performance du petit Jean Claude, candidat officiel Vodkaïste peu fier, qui rassemble à peine la moitié des voix de son concurrent le plus proche, et encore, c'est déjà trop, et qui ne sera désormais plus petit seulement par ses mandats mais aussi par ses résultats électoraux.

Ensuite vient Super Tagueur, candidat boulet, en témoigne son patronyme, qui rassemble environ 16% des voix, ce qui ne représente grossomodo ni plus ni moins que l'ensemble des voix de son courant.

Après arrive le candidat Oskar, seulement quelques voix derrière le candidat unique légitime Kyvi pour lequel chaque Kralandais qui se respecte a le devoir de voter, qui mènent tous deux une campagne électorale plutôt serrée et plei,ne de rebondissements.

En tête de cette élection arrive enfin Bram's, sociale-traîtresse tristement réputée pour ses diverses atteintes à l'avancée du Bonheur Universel, et dont l'élection serait sans doute nuisible à la Républik, mais improbable si le second candidat venait à récolter plus de voix, pourvu que ce soit fait avec une tranche d'humour.

Pour résumer ces résultats obtenus avec le plus grand soin, on peut dire que les Vodkaïstes ne font toujours pas l'unanimité auprès de l'électorat kralandais (à moins que ce ne soit le candidat ?) et que Kyvi et Oskar, les deux candidats les plus sérieux de ce palmarès, devront vraisemblablement s'affronter lors d'un second tour, dés lors que les électeurs ne seront plus d'humeur joueuse et n'apporteront plus leur soutien à Bram's, "juste pour voir".

Si vous n'avez pas encore voté pour Kyvi, le Red[*r]Star Weekly vous rappelle qu'il vous reste encore quelques heures pour le faire.
Nous aurons le résultat officiel de cet élection le 25 décembre à 00h00, espérons seulement qu'en guise de cadeau de Noël, chacun y trouve son compte.

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Commentaires

23 décembre 2006, 20:47:27

Elections : comment s'y retrouver ?

J'imagine que c'est une blague Bram's en tête des sondages ?


Non ? [3)]

5 décembre 2012, 08:07:37

Elections : comment s'y retrouver ?

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5 décembre 2012, 08:47:31

Elections : comment s'y retrouver ?

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République de Kraland 28 février 2008 - Urbanisme et restructurations.
Jeune Gouverneur plein d'avenir recherche architectes experts en restructuration moléculaire. Toutes techniques bienvenue pour arrivée à l'objectif escompté. Nous visons à une grande réalisation de l'art urbain graffitique en lieu et place des futurs ruines d'une banale rurbanité banano-capitaliste.
Nouveau POS inspirant et dynamique. Projet sérieux pour destructurateurs d'extérieur compétents.
République de Kraland 3 février 2008 - Les kralandais plus borné qu'un Elmerien?
Alors que de jeunes kralandais talentueux sortent de l'ombre, et disent tout haut se que la plus part pensent tout bas, ils se font injurier de tous les noms possibles et imaginable. SocioTraitre, Elmerien, déviant et j'en passe sont les chefs d'accusations pour nos jeunes Kralandais, en soif de faire évoluer la RK. Ces Traitres à la nation sont-ils le futur de notre Empire? Les prochains bourgmestres, procureurs, ministres ou même premier ministre?
République de Kraland 29 janvier 2008 - Qui me prête une idée ?
Ministres récement importés franco de port, en chronominute de Seele et Palladium cherchent bonnes excuses pour retourner dans leurs pays d'origine après la fin de mandat de Mérédy.

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